Let me tell you something about my unforgettable moment in my life. The unforgettable moment in my life is when my friend and I came and performed at J-Rocks' event which have been held in Blok M on November 21th, 2010. We went to there by motorcycle and arrived at 12.00. And then, we re-registration to fill the show band performance. After several days of practice so that we can perform optimally. Finally, we can look up and enliven the event. Not only that, I have a photo together with personnel of the J-Rocks. In a crowd of people. I tried to photograph along with personnel of the J-Rocks. But, I can only take a picture together with Anton and Wima. Really, something unforgettable moment in my life. I feel happy because I can come and fill in the event.
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That's awesome man!!!
BalasHapusU have met J-Rocks,and I haven't....
Lam, I think in ur sentence there's a little bit wrong. The coordinator "but" in the sentence "I tried to photograph along with personnel of the J-Rocks. But, I can only take a picture together with Anton and Wima". It's supposed to there is no period and the comma's put in front of "but".
Like this "I tried to photograph along with personnel of the J-Rocks, but I can only take a picture together with Anton and Wima"
Yep, that's wonderful experience, Alam. Perform on the same stage with ur fave band. Well, u clearly state the TS, but it'd be much better if u add more info to the supporting sentences. Thus. ur readers will b more interested reading e'ry detail of ur writing. Hmm, please b aware of the choice of words and grammar, ok. The wrong choice of word can be seen in this sentence "feel happy because I can come and "fill in" the event. It's more suitable if u write "I can come and perform in that event". Sounds nicer, doesn't it?
BalasHapusWell, yeah, Widi also already pointed u the point of using coordinator. Keep improving ur writing, ok!